Men jokes
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.
Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
Erectile dysfunction.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.