Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
iron man: where r u from? thor: asgard. iron man: do you mean ASS-GUARD?
friend 1: I don't want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don't jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn't mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
im hertophobic it means im allergic to striaghts
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile
A lady runs into a police station and yells "help, help". I've been graped then a police officer says "Do you mean raped". The girl then replies "No there was a bunch of em".
2019 Senior Prank- Hey fellas lets black out the school haha were so sneaky oh yes
2020 Senior Prank- Hey guys I’m a tech whiz let’s spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha it’s be so funny and good even the whole world might fall for it
Everyone in December 2020- looks at tech whiz “...you son of a (censored)!!!” Tech whiz- “you guys are the (censored)s I mean you fell for it for a whole year
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
If people who live in Canada are Canadians I mean if they drink Fanta they’re fantastic
daughter:dad why are you so mean dad:because you are so mean that's why daughter:you so get on my nerves dad:i am gonna slap you in yo god darn head if you don't shut up daughter:wow dad you savage dad:21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! daughter:oh my god i am telln' mom that you are doin' that thing again
Me dont know why trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes1 so does that mean he is some fucking dog
my cat is is red and brown and her bones are crunchy so does that mean she is a kit kat
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended) What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them, I mean, britches be crazy
I find it best to screw people with memory loss, I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.
It's funny that everyone is depressed like I mean Bullys are depressed Nerds are depressed Bad girls/boys are depressed Kind humans are depressed
Why are so many people mean to orphans???
They can’t cry to their parents
