Means jokes
You have no heart! CG. Yeah, yeah, nah.
Balenciagas, yeah, I don't gotta tie 'em. It's a party, man, you're not invited. Smoking this gas, got me flying. She told me that I'm perfect timing. I'm like, "Baby, why you lying?" I can't trust nobody else, that's why I always just keep to myself. I walk in the spot, they're like, "You are the man." Your shawty wants me; that bitch is a fan. She told me that she doesn't got a man. I don't even care; I focus on bands. I'm with Rio, yeah, we're heaven-sent. 27, yeah, we're making bands. Off the pixie dust, like Peter Pan. Shawty hits my phone when she lands.
Y-ah (Ay). Girl, what you see in me? Smoking this reefer, I'm making this greenery. Fucking your bitch, and she says that she's needing me. Don't wanna talk, let's just skip all that speaking, please. She's seen I'm running my bread, getting money. Hurting your feelings? Go cry to your mommy. Designer your outfit, but making no money. Said I'd fall off, but I'm up now, that's funny. Manipulate women 'cause bitches are so dummy. Shawty's so mad, and she says that I'm mean. Walk with a limp, yeah, I carry a beam. Talk all that shit, but you hide through a screen. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know. You don't know, okay.
I'm making money; your bitch is acting funny when she gets around me 'cause I got the cash. You said that you're from the hood, but you are from the suburbs. You already know that's cap. I was down bad for a minute, but now I'm going up and never coming in last. I'm in an SRT, yeah, I'm switching these lanes; you can never go too fast.
Balenciagas, yeah, I don't gotta tie 'em. It's a party, man, you're not invited. Smoking this gas, got me flying. She told me that I'm perfect timing. I'm like, "Baby, why you lying?" I can't trust nobody else, that's why I always just keep to myself. I walk in the spot, they're like, "You are the man." Your shawty wants me; that bitch is a fan. She told me that she doesn't got a man. I don't even care; I focus on bands. I'm with Rio, yeah, we're heaven-sent. 27, yeah, we're making bands. Off the pixie dust, like Peter Pan. Shawty hits my phone when she lands.
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.
Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside; 'round the outside, 'round the outside.
Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...
I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more. They want Shady, I'm chopped liver. Well, if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya: A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor. Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when I'm not cooperating, when I'm rocking the table while he's operating (hey!!). You waited this long, now stop debating, 'cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney, but your husband's heart problem's complicating. So the FCC won't let me be, or let me be me, so let me see. They try to shut me down on MTV, but it feels so empty without me. So, come on and dip, rum on your lips. Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits. And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy. I just settled all my lawsuits. FUCK YOU, DEBBIE!
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
Little hellions, kids feeling rebellious, embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis. They start feeling like prisoners, helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells, "BITCH!!!"
A visionary, a vision of scary, could start a revolution, polluting the airwaves. A rebel, so just let me revel and bask in the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass. And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass. You asked for me? Well, I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Fix your damn antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna enter in, in the front of your skin, like a splinter. The center of attention, back for the winter. I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling. Investing in your kids' ears and nesting. Testing, attention, please. Feel the tension, as soon as someone mentions me. Here's my ten cents; my two cents is free. A nuisance. Who sent? You sent for me?
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
A-tisket, a-tasket, I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit, that shit. Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards. And Moby? You can get stomped by Obie. You thirty-six-year-old bald-headed fag, blow me. You don't know me, you're too old. Let go. It's over; nobody listens to techno. Now let's go; just give me the signal. I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults. I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil, ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol. But sometimes the shit just seems everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I'm disgusting. But it's just me; I'm just obscene. No, I'm not the first king of controversy. I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and used it to get myself wealthy. (Hey!!) There's a concept that works. Twenty million other white rappers emerge, but no matter how many fish in the sea, it'll be so empty without me.
Now this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me. I said this looks like a job for me. So everybody, just follow me. 'Cause we need a little controversy, 'cause it feels so empty without me.
"Chem-hie-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la."
Kids!
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
Just because she can't crawl doesn't mean she can't eat my balls.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
So, there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof! Appears the genie!
The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted.
Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes."
The white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."