ME jokes
You remind me of a pencil.
Why?
Because at one time, you actually made a valid point. This time, everything is pointless with you around.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.
Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?
What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious!
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.