McDonald's

McDonald's Jokes

Car

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

Priest

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

Food

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

Infection

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Graduate

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Paedophile

What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?

They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.

Wall

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Mama

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

Twin Towers

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.

Priest

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.

Penaldo

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

Fat

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

Difference

What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?

McDonald's has a drive-thru.

Difference

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.