What does weed in the Carolina Panthers have in common? They both get smoked in bowls
The Drunk and a priest
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Q: What's the difference between a hispanic and stoner?
A: Stoners have papers
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer? A pot-hole
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff
what do you call dude that is always high and gets higher then everyone else in the family the alpha pot head
wanna hear a joke... idk im too high
Bick: Jesus isn't real. Ron: Yes he is. Bick: Prove it, bitch. Ron: Cussing is a in. Open the curtains. Bick: Wh- Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT.
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus. Bick: Told you Jesus was real. Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
Roses are red I sniff marijuana I have five fingers The middle one is for your vagina
when dwarfs get high do they just get medium?
[ when a cop meets a pothead on April 20th ]
Officer : Hi, how high are you?
Pothead : No officer, it's how are you
Officer : oh im sorry ive been high since last night
Pothead : cool, i'd like to give you sum weed, happy 420 sir
Officer : omg thx man appreciate that
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana. “Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common? Both stare off into space
When you say, "I'm high!".
But then you fall off.
I WAS GONNA CLEAN MY ROOM
BEFORE I GOT HIGH
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarf's saw them they sang... "Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
