Man jokes
Why did the fat man miss his flight?
His body weight exceeded the weight limit.
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
What's more sensitive than a pushy?
A Western man on the internet.
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What do you call a man who offended an NFL player...
Odin Floyd.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"