Mama jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
Yo mama so fat, when she is on her period, she floods the entire town with her blood.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"