What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.