Magic jokes
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two warlocks to summon her.
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"