Lost jokes

I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.

Gravity sure is fast.

Why don't orphans like to get lost?

Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

Me: I have lost it.

Random: Lost what?

Me: My will to live.

Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.

Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.

The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.

A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.

"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.

"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."

The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."

The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"

"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.

"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"

What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.

A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:

The guy says, "I'm a fireman."

The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"

The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."

The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"

The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."

Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?

Because he lost May!

Why do orphans hate hide n seek?

'Cause they can't find their parents.

On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.

What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"