Lost

Lost jokes

Weight

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Fatman

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Tour Guide

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Sandwich

Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?

A: Because BB-8 it.

Ya it's bad:)

Memes

Orphan

What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?

They are both nowhere to be found.

Priest

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

Mama

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

ID

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

Orphan

Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.

Orphan

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

Job loss

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Pop

What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.

Blonde

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

Skeleton

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

Car

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

Orphan

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

Brother

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!