Lost

Lost jokes

Weight

29 views ·

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Tour Guide

15 views ·

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Priest

273 views ·

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

ID

12 views ·

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

Job loss

22 views ·

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Blonde

42 views ·

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

Skeleton

5 views ·

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.