Lost jokes

Location is in London by the way.

One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?

A: Because BB-8 it.

Ya it's bad:)

Why is E.T. better than an orphan?

Because he found his way home.

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?

They are both nowhere to be found.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?

He's all right.

What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.

The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?

Carlos.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."