Lost jokes
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?
Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.