Lost jokes

The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.

Why don't rappers ever get LOST?

Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?

Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Why are the English so bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen.

Orphan: Help, I'm lost.

Someone: Wears your parents.

Orphan: >:(

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

My sister lost two things today:

1: Her virginity.

2: Her job at the zoo.