Lost jokes
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?
Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
Why cant Americans play chess?
Because they lost their towers...
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.