Loss jokes
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't hear their parents.
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can never find home.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."