Loss

Loss jokes

Homicide

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Orphan

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...

Orphan

Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.

Orphan

Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.

Orphan

An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

It’s because they can’t find home plate.

Miscarriage

What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Dog

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

Boy

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"