Loss jokes
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
My mom died.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"