Loss jokes
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.