Loss jokes
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Home.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make him clap until his parents come back.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me:
12 tap ins
11 pointless dribbles
10 fixed league titles
9 missed penalties
8-2
6 dives
500 million robbed from Barca
4 UCL semi losses
3 times he blamed Higuain
2 retirements
And a transfer to a farmers league.
Twin Towers are like my parents: 2 left and 1 came back.
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.
Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they can't run home.