Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Longing Jokes
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
