Literal jokes
Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Oop- get called out
Me trying everyday
Dad: just cut the water. Me: ok
Community talk
If this website is literally called Worst Jokes Ever, why are some getting up in arms about some really bad jokes?
bro my legs fucking hurt from gym literally yesterday
looking for a obsessive girlfriend that will literally do anything for me, I need someone that is really obsessive like really to the point your entire mood depends on me and I'm the only person you would want to talk to and you will lose all of your friends and completely stop talking to anybody else than me, and block all of your friends, your family, basically ANYONE you know just for me, must completely obey what I ask and listen, like really obsessed to the point you get upset when we both stop talking, you must give me a lot of compliments everyday too, like alotttt, like writing essays of how worthless you would be without me and shii, if you're interested DM me asap