Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
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Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?
Nothing, the pee is silent.
My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
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Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
