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Baby

  • Wife: “I want another baby.”

    Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

    Cannibal

  • The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

    Penis

  • This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

    Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

    Noose

  • It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

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  • Depression

  • When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

    Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

    Bro

  • Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

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  • Adoption

  • A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

    Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

    The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."