Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.