Life jokes
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
You die. LOL!
Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Why can’t orphans go on “go big or go home?”
Cuz they’d always have to go big as they have no home.
I didn’t orphan never say home.
Because they didn’t have one.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...
My life.
Can I die?
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Beast joke ever: my life... Oh wait, I don't have one.