Life jokes
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Why do orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
I hate life, and I'm gay.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
-->[]life death[]<--
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
Why did Lucas die?
'Cause he was old, Lucas.