Life jokes
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Your life. That's all.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
My kid had an accident.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.