Life jokes
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
Your life. That's all.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Advertisement: "What's in your wallet?"
Me: "The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)"
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
My kid had an accident.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.