Letter jokes

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

Girls Are Yummy Stupid

Are Really Erectable

Tasty Honey Ejaculable

Booty Everything Sucking Titties

Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Do no doctor start with A and A+?

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.