Legality

Legality Jokes

Michael Jackson

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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  • Arsenic

    A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

    Rose

    Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

    The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

    Rape

    How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

    Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

    Memes

    Stone

    What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

    It's legal to get stoned.

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  • Sex

    I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

    He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

    Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

    Blonde

    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

    The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

    Businessman

    Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

    Pedophile

    Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

    Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

    Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

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  • Age

    I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

    Miscarriage

    What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

    Her miscarriage.

    Girl

    What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

    Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

    Paedophile

    I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

    Girl

    Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

    Plus, she's too young to smoke.

    Girl

    What’s the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

    Slicker hair back she looks 15.