Leave

Leave Jokes

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out? The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:

"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"

"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."

"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"

"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"

"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"

A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?

hello my fellow canadians I mean ameicans I your cool and hip president has decied to give everyone free ice cream! even the russans to go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

whats the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them Option 2: walk away Option 3: kill eachother. Me: why can't i just kms and leave them the pain?

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. 24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back. 31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

A Woman exclaims that she was robbed she was reading in the dark candles were next to her on she says the thief opens her cabin of Jewelry and leaves and enters from the window.He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her.She turns the lights on and sees what happened.The candle wax was going down straight.A police man closes the window and cabin then tells her shes lying just for the cash reward.Why?

Because if the drift of wind came in the candle wax would be dripping to the side not straight!

Fineman, Einstein and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says "it appears we're inside a joke".

Einstein says "but only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously".

To which Schrodinger says "if someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving".

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.