Lay in jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russell

A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.

She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."

The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.

Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)

A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.

Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.

So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?

You after you disrespect me.

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.