Laughter

Laughter jokes

Job

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

Ovation

I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

Dad

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

Swing

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

Dog

I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.

Punchline

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Subject

What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.

Foot

What’s up with the foot feet?

What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."

What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.

Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.

Chair

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

Kid

What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.