Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
Zozo laughed at his wife for her husband being a hobo.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
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Stop! Stop the orphan jokers!
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
What’s a booty’s favorite game?
Hide and cheek.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
My jokes are cancer.
