There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Laughter Jokes
Scrolled through all of them, still haven't laughed.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
The world is a freaking rape joke.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
