A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
I will always rember my dads last words...
oh wait i've never them.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter? My last if she knows what's good for her.
Q:What was my son's last words before he died. A:Bye dad i am going to school.
what where Stephen hawkings last words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb2jGy76v0Y
What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? Y. Cause I wanted to know.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
What were Princess Dianas last words? Have you been Dri....
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »
*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee*
Son : « W- Wait a minute.. So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »
The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot .. » Son : « But it was a nightmare .. »
*Dad turns into a monster*
Dad : « I’m your nightmare »
The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The Son with himself: « Wake up b*tch wake up b*tch !!!!!! »
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama's campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said "lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar". Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers ... ...
Their knees *Ba dum tss*
