I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that i saw pristiano penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?” Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?” He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
Why don't we have female magicians 'Cause the last ones got hang
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
i don't know a orphan joke but i bib cyr last night
because i an orphan
My dad died in the 9/11 I'll always remember his last words
Allah hu akbar
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards it was red.
Battery 1%
I take one last look at earth as my suit runs out of power
There were 5 people on an airplane. 1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, A good, solid 1 hour in, The pilot comes out and says "Ok guys, I have good news and bad news, Bad News is the plane is gonna crash, The good news is that I have 4 parachutes" The pilot says to his passengers, " Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes, People depend on me" Took a parachute and went out. The businessman stands up and says " Well I'm a businessman, I run companies" Took a parachute and went out The smartest person in the world stands up and says " I'm the smartest person in the world, No one is smarter than me" Took a parachute and went out Now the minister says to the school child " Well God has given me a good life, I want you to take the last parachute" and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says " Why are you smiling?!, We're about to die!!!!" and the school child says to the minister "Well actually not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag
What were the balloon's last words to his Father? Watch me, Pop!
My mom loves balls. But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years
doctor: you need to eat healthy
me: no
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died
me: oh my goodness
doctor: in a plane crash
me: that sounds unrelated
doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me
What's the difference between a chinese person with an old person? One lasts long and another doesn't
You're so skinny you're a thin stick You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean you became the Pacific Ocean You're so ugly you got stuff for free You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti you thought it was throw up You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth You are so gay you kiss the boy last night
there was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time) so i said i made a chemical reaction with his mom last night
there was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time) so i said i made a chemical reaction with his mom last night reaction with
Can u imagine what was the last thing that went through there brains
The knee caps
my uncle died on 9 11. her last words were Allah Ackbar.
if u take off the first and last letter of demon there gonna turn emo
Last night i shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel, We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a hand-job So did my friend on the right
I had a dream of skiing.
