Last will jokes

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.

I asked my girlfriend if we could try my rape fantasy last night. She said no. It was the best night of my life.

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?

Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!

Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.