Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
What did the American say to the russian?? Why u always russian
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Hey, can you hold this for a second?
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
kanker
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
