Land jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.

They never land well.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

You keep your quality beans for the right season till you realize that you planted them on the infertile land.

That joke didn't land well, did it?

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

These 9/11 jokes just don’t land.

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.