Know jokes
"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"
yikes...
#PlugWalk
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
What present can a pimp always buy his hoes to both show how much he thinks of them and know they can never get enough of?
Condoms!
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower. Thanks, Phil!
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
What's the time?
How would I know?
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide