Know jokes
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
I know where you live! I saw you before!
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.