Know-how jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know how to hit a home run.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

I once saw a noose joke.

I wanna know how to make one :D

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.