Kids jokes

What can jump the highest?

Emo kids, some are still in the air.

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

What do you call a flat emo kid?

A cutting board.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.