Kids jokes
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
What are Emo kids good at... hanging around?
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.