Kids jokes

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What are Emo kids good at... hanging around?

Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.

What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!