Kids jokes
"I met a girl and she's 28."
"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."
- AJR
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
that one short kid who thinks he is a superhero
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
What do you call a kid that’s cold and his name is war?
Cold War.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.