Kids jokes
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs.
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.