Kids jokes
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂