Kids jokes

Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?

The child has no trouble shooting.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

He won’t stand against the three of us!

Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...

Just kidding.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

I AM SO SORRY!

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat."

Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon."

Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

One of the students: "Homework!"