Kids jokes
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
What is an emo kid's favorite game?
Hangman.
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo, so I gave them a halo.
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.