Kids jokes

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "Sad"

Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?

Bunk beds.

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him, "Where are his parents?"

God, I love working at orphanages!

I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!

I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."

Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.