Kids jokes

Asian

Why can't two Asians have a white kid? Because two "wongs" don't make a "white."

Orphan

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."

Orphanage

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

Orphanage

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

Emo kid

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

Memes

Kid

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Tree

The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging!

Kid

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

Kid

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Priest

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

Kid

What do you call a white kid who kills another?

Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.

Kid

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

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  • Michael Jackson

    There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

    What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

    Difference

    What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

    Dark humor never dies!

    Suicide hotline

    Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

    The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

    The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

    Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

    A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

    "Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

    "My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

    "I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

    "I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

    Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

    "Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

    Emo kid

    Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.