Kids jokes

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

What is yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"