Kids jokes

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.

Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️