Kids jokes
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
Me when kids
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.