Kids jokes

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.

What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?

One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.

...just kidding-

- none. They can't change anything.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.

Why did the depressed kid cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".

What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

They both enjoy kids' company.

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*