Kids jokes

Kid

    • What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

    Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

    Gunshot

    • When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

    Language

    • Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

    Vegan

    • Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.

    Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.

    Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?

    Kids: Yeah!

    Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!

    Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.

    *Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*

    Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.

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    • Kids memes

    Generation

    • The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI

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    • Cheerio

    • The Cheerio Joke

    Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

    So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

    The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

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    • Kid

    • I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

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    • Bear

    • Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

    His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

    *Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

    Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

    LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

    Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

    Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

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    • Snow

    • What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.