Kids jokes
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
this is me
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.