Kids jokes

What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

A physical doctor for kids.

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a kid?

Hot Wheels.

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?

Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?

The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.

I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"

The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

Why can't fat kids play poker?

They eat all the chips.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.

What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.