Kids jokes

Orphan

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Kid

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

Memes

Orphan

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Mother

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

Orphanage

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

Uncle Joe

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Plane

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

Kid

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Kid

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

History

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Marijuana

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

Dad

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Meal

What do kids call a balanced meal?

A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD

Bullying

Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.

Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.

Me: "/"