Kids jokes

Why do my kids die?

Stinky Oussy :D

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To get to the gay kid's house.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.