Kids jokes
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"