Kids jokes

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

A suicide squad.

I read to deaf kids in my spare time.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.