Kids jokes
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!