Kids jokes

Why can't fat kids change a tire?

They would eat the donut.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and roared, "Hot wheels!"

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

Who crashed the plane?

1. Abu Faram? - terrorist

2. The little kid Joseph?

3. The passed out pilot?

Or Jamal?

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!